BIGWAVE.WAKESYS.COM – EXTREMELY SERIOUS & TOTALLY LEGITIMATE WAIVER
(Page 1 of 2 — because all official documents must be at least mildly inconvenient.)
1. IMPORTANT NOTICE
By reading, skimming, or accidentally scrolling past this waiver, you hereby acknowledge that:
- Waves are wet.
- Water is also wet.
- Sometimes waves contain water, and vice versa.
- BigWave is not responsible if you suddenly realize this mid-session.
You further confirm that you are at least 18 years old, or just very confident with your clicking ability.
2. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF RIDICULOUS RISKS
Participating in any activity on or near BigWave may expose you to the following hazards:
- Excessive splashing leading to unexpected hydration.
- Sudden increases in coolness levels.
- Accidental development of wakeboarding swagger.
- Confusingly shaped tan lines.
- Spontaneous desire to “send it,” “full send it,” or “maybe don’t but do anyway.”
You accept all risks, including those not mentioned here, those invented later, and those we forgot to mention because we were thinking about snacks.
3. CONSENT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED, VIDEOTAPED, AND POSSIBLY MEMED
You agree that BigWave staff may record your heroic (or not-so-heroic) actions. These recordings may be used for:
- Training
- Marketing
- Birthday party entertainment
- Ritual sacrifices to the Algorithm
- Creating motivational posters like “FAIL HARDER”
You waive all rights to complain when your wipeout becomes unexpectedly popular online.
BIGWAVE.WAKESYS.COM – EVEN MORE SERIOUS WAIVER CONTENT
(Page 2 of 2 — because the first page wasn’t nearly enough legal nonsense.)
4. RELEASE OF LIABILITY
By participating, you release BigWave, Wakesys, their employees, their pets, and anyone who has ever said the word “wave,” from liability for:
- Bruised egos
- Wet socks
- Board-induced existential crises
- Accidental backflips
- Any emotional distress caused by your friend landing a trick you failed 17 times
You also agree not to sue us, our families, or our baristas, even if your latte was incorrectly foamed.
5. MEDICAL & PHYSICAL CONDITION
You confirm that you are physically fit enough to participate in watersports, or at least willing to pretend you are. You acknowledge that:
- Stretching is optional but recommended
- Gravity is undefeated
- Crying is allowed but should be done tastefully
- “I meant to do that” is an acceptable post-wipeout statement
6. THE SACRED OATH OF RESPONSIBLE AQUATIC BEHAVIOR
You solemnly swear to:
- Follow all instructions from staff
- Not attempt tricks you saw on YouTube at 2 AM
- Avoid blaming the cable, the board, the wave, or the alignment of the planets
- Maintain good vibes at all times
Failure to comply may result in polite side-eye or, in extreme cases, a disappointed nod.
7. FINAL ACKNOWLEDGMENT
By signing below (or clicking the “I Agree” button with reckless enthusiasm), you confirm that:
- You read at least some of this waiver
- You understand none of it
- You accept all of it
- You are ready to ride BigWave like the majestic aquatic champion you believe yourself to be
Thank you for agreeing to this incredibly official document. May your landings be soft and your wipeouts cinematic.
